CONTRACT
Only required for Disney people

 

IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ BEFORE PROCEDING

By exploring this web site, you certify that you have read, understand and agree to all the terms and conditions stated herein. You further certify that you are of legal age and sound mind and under no pressure, duress or other restriction that would prevent you from being able to calmly and rationally enter into this agreement or to click on the links provided. If you do not agree to these terms and conditions, you must leave this site immediately, shut down your computer, and run out to the street whilst screaming and waving your arms. If you proceed, this agreement will be deemed agreed to by you.

TERMS AND CONDITIONS

Our records show that you may have previously been selected to receive the annual holiday mailing (hereinafter called "DorseyCard") of Dorsey Productions, Inc. (hereinafter called "Company"), or may wish to view DorseyCard via this internet web site.

1. Qualification

DorseyCard is mailed to a recipient once each year, until such time as any such recipient ceases to be a favorable friend, business contact, associate, vendor to or client of Company, or to have a reasonably good sense of humor. DorseyCard is also available on a limited-access basis for viewing on the internet by people with the same qualifications as stated above. You understand and agree that favored status is determined solely by Company, according to guidelines established by Company from time to time, and subject to change without notice. Company is under no obligation to disclose such guidelines to you. You agree to make no challenge to Company's determination of your favorableness, and expressly waive all rights to a trial (whether or not by jury), arbitration, and/or any argumentative assertion, opinion, comment or reaction by any manner of information conveyance, whether public or private, conducted in person or otherwise, by any physical, mental or technological means now known or yet to be discovered or invented (including but not limited to telephone, telegraph, television, radio, electronic mail, recordings of any type, suggestive gestures or facial expressions, body language, telepathy or any other behavior), whether in real-time or delayed, which may be construed by any person, animal or living entity, reasonable or otherwise, to be indicative of any disappointment in, imply distaste for, or cause or contribute to any detrimental result to the reputation, property, goodwill, business endeavors, and/or any employee(s), officer(s), or agents of Company.

2. No Guarantee

DorseyCard is delivered on an "as-is" basis. No warranty of any kind is expressed or implied. Past performance is no guarantee of future results. You agree to receive and/or view DorseyCards without expectation, anticipation, or implication of fitness for any particular purpose or use. You agree that DorseyCards will be completely and thoroughly satisfying to you.

3. Delivery

Company is under no obligation to deliver DorseyCard. You agree that receipt and/or display of DorseyCards in the past shall not be interpreted by you as construing or implying any obligation on behalf of Company to deliver additional or future DorseyCards. Company is not responsible for tracking you down. You agree to notify Company in writing (at the address below) at least ninety (90) days prior to year end if you change your address, or if you do not wish to receive DorseyCard. Further, you agree to reimburse Company for postage or other delivery, tracking or research expense, including any and all attorney and/or private investigator fees, incurred as a result of you failing to provide Company with such notice.

4. Display

You agree to display any DorseyCard received by you in a prominent and clearly visible place in one of the following: your office or other usual and customary place of business, your home or domicile, your hospital room, hotel room, prison cell or any other place of current temporary or permanent occupancy, your personal vehicle, or your place of interment. Such display shall begin promptly upon receipt, and continue for a period of not less than thirty (30) days. You agree not to restrict or hamper access to DorseyCard by anyone expressing the desire to see, hold, touch, or otherwise manipulate DorseyCard, unless and until you believe that the safety and/or reputation of DorseyCard or Company is likely to suffer actual or consequential damages as a result of such sight, holding, touching, or manipulation. You agree to protect DorseyCard from pets and children, and to faithfully preserve each DorseyCard for future enjoyment. Destruction of, or failure to protect and defend a DorseyCard is sufficient to establish a finding of non-favor by Company.

5. Response

You agree to respond promptly and positively to Company upon receipt of any DorseyCard. Non-response shall be sufficient to establish a finding of non-favor by Company.

6. Ownership

You agree that DorseyCard is and remains the property of Company, regardless of whether or how much you kissed-up to receive or view it. You agree to return any and all DorseyCards received by you to Company promptly, and in good condition, if and when requested by Company to do so.

7. Insurance

You agree to maintain a minimum of $2 million "all-risk" catastrophic loss insurance on any DorseyCard received, and will provide proof of same to Company, on a form acceptable to Company, and accompanied by a basket of fruit.

8. Language

If any statement, definition or term stated herein is challenged as being invalid, void, or unenforceable, you agree to let us replace such language with something even more difficult to comprehend which essentially says the same thing, but which might be more legally acceptable.

9. Entire Agreement

This agreement supersedes any and all agreements between the parties hereto with respect to the delivery of DorseyCard, whether oral, written or implied. So there.

1998 Dorsey Productions, Inc.